◆ The first person (comms) sample is very short and has minimal description, and fails to demonstrate Chris's voice or how he would interact in Ataraxion. The third person sample, given it isn't set in Ataraxion at all, also fails to demonstrate Chris's personality or how you feel he is likely to react to and interact with the game setting.

◆ The personality section requires expansion and elaboration on the traits you've described. It would have been good to see more on Chris's motivations and inner workings, and the understanding of the character as a whole person beyond his abilities, disabilities, and team-mates.

◆ There are several spelling and grammatical errors throughout the app, and while typos happen to everyone, it gives a poor impression in a writing-based game. We advise in future you use a spell-checker or ask someone to read it over for you before submitting.