Thank you for applying to Ataraxion! Before we can make a final decision on your application, however, we would like to see revisions on the following.
◆ While your personality section gives us a good overall look at Kirk's character, we feel that it's very disjointed in ordering and examination of certain traits and development. ◆ Please restructure your personality section to take into account how Kirk has grown through the two movies, and what stage in his development he will be at when taken from the canon point you have chosen. As you are writing this, we would like you to bear in mind: his arc from arrogance to humility, his relationship with and respect shown to his command crew, and ways that his bad attitude towards authority have been challenged. ◆ We would also like expansion on his attitude and beliefs regarding his (biological) father, and how that family history impacts his self-worth and decisions as a leader.
Please reply with the necessary information within 72 hours. If you require an extension, please contact a mod before your time expires. Thank you!
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